


Love Potion

by Mother_North



Series: Enchantment [6]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Angst and Feels, Arguments, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blow Jobs, Break Up, Conversations, Desire, Elements of Het, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluffy Ending, Gift Fic, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Intimacy, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong, Mother-Son Relationship, Psychology, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Tension, Shame, Surprise Cameo, mention of Javier's girlfriend, they are still skaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-02-10 09:39:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18657829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_North/pseuds/Mother_North
Summary: Yuzuru drinks a love potion accidentally and Javier has to do something to save his training mate from certain death or Kikuchi-san could never even start to imagine the grave consequences one unintentional mistake could bring...





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KitsuneVen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitsuneVen/gifts).



> Dedicated to KitsuneVen for the original idea of this fic (yeah, blame this on her ;P) *kidding*  
> Honestly, thank you, dear fellow-author, for your great works and for coming up with some pretty interesting tropes during one of the discussions^^
> 
> RPF disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and it is not meant to offend anyone. It is a product of author’s imagination only. All thoughts, actions and emotions described below have nothing to do with reality.

_Love potion_ _-_

_a drink supposed to cause the drinker to feel love and desire for a particular person._

****

****

Kikuchi-san was looking at the tiny bottle of dark-brown glass intently. The potion was almost ready except for one ingredient and it was important to obtain it as soon as possible. He recalled his yesterday evening conversation with Yuzuru, when the young man approached him for an advice. Yuzuru complained he felt his energy levels dropping significantly as of late and he needed a solution how to make his body work as efficient as it once used to. Kikuchi-san saw his vigor and desire to train till he would practically collapse on the unforgiving surface of the ice, exhausted and sweaty, his whole body aching and yet Yuzuru deemed he wasn’t doing enough.

“Please, I need to be prepared…I need to find a way to become better. I need to improve. I have to be _perfect.”_

Yuzuru’s regular mantra often left Kikuchi-san concerned for his health. He truly wanted to help Yuzuru reach his goals, for the boy deserved to have the world at his feet, his determination and burning dedication in conquering new heights nothing but awe-inspiring.

Kikuchi-san nodded to his own thoughts, his facial expression remaining neutral. He was fully aware of Yuzuru’s never ending quest for perfection. He decided he would help Yuzuru as there was one peculiar recipe for increasing one’s stamina without any side effects or a risk of triggering an asthma attack. It was safe ( _or at least he genuinely thought so at first_ ). Besides Kikuchi-san always wanted to try it on someone so he promised Yuzuru to make it ready for him to use as soon as on the following morning. Yuzuru thanked the old man wholeheartedly and Kikuchi-san spent the rest of the evening on studying ancient-looking tome of mysterious hieroglyphic symbols. His thin dry lips whispered spells and incantations which he considered to be more on the formalistic side of the _‘ritual’_ rather than them having any actual magical effect.

The result of his nightly efforts was now at the palm of his hand in a form of a small quantity of golden-coloured potion which smelled strongly of bitter herbs and essential oils ( _majoram? nutmeg? patchouli? melmot-berries? deodar cedar? ginseng extract?_ ).

Still the special extra ingredient remained lacking.   

Kikuchi-san didn’t have a luxury of waiting and had to approach Yuzuru while he was training, surprising him with his unexpected and strange request.

“We talked about _it_ yesterday evening…But before giving you the drink which might help you I have to ask you for one more thing…I need your sweat…Several droplets would suffice.”

Yuzuru frowned, looking a bit perplexed. After some initial hesitation he followed Kikuch-san to the locker room.

“Here.”

He tilted his head, providing Kikuchi-san better access to the glistening skin of his sweaty neck. The man knew full well that it was the pivotal point of the whole experiment: he carefully gathered some droplets with a vacuum pipette and added them into the little bottle before shaking it thoroughly.

Yuzuru was watching his actions intently, a weird gut feeling he couldn’t decipher coiling at the pit of his stomach. His thoughts returned to his smiley training partner and the way his sweaty palm felt at the side of his neck – secure and reassuring.

Kikuchi-san opened the tiny cork and sniffed the content of the bottle. He gave a hum of approbation.

“I think it is ready now. Although I would like to recommend drinking it tomorrow, right before you leave for practice to make it work immediately.”

Yuzuru took the said bottle with both hands carefully, before thanking his loyal companion once again.

 

*

 

Upon waking up on the following morning, Yuzuru did exactly as he had been told by Kikuchi-san. To tell the truth, he wasn’t too fond of the keen herbal scent of the potion which attacked his nostrils, making tears well up at the corners of his eyes. Yet he drank everything in one confident gulp: astringent and piquant taste of viscous liquid making the tip of his tongue go numb.

The practice session began as usual, except for a sensation of unusual warmth spreading over his limbs. Yuzuru couldn’t quite place the source of his quickened heartbeat as well, for he was only doing some basic stroking exercises. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Javier arriving late, his hair disheveled and eyes red, as if he hadn’t had enough sleep on the previous night.

Yuzuru landed a pitch-perfect triple axel for starters and Brian applauded him enthusiastically. Yuzuru felt indescribable lightness in his body and thanked Kikuchi-san in his mind; it definitely looked like the mysterious potion was finally taking its effect.

He caught Javier’s reflection in a broad wall mirror, their eyes meeting briefly. It looked like Javier was in a shitty form that morning, as even his spins were betraying him and he ended up on his ass more than once to Brian’s dismay.

After one particularly hard fall from a doomed attempt of a quad sal, Yuzuru skated to Javier. He offered a hand to help him get back on his feet. Javier winced, taking Yuzuru’s outstretched hand without a second thought after murmuring a quiet ‘thank you’.

Yuzuru barely managed to contain a startled yelp, as an intense spark of electricity shoot up his arm totally unexpectedly. The sensation was unsettling and unknown, yet certainly rather pleasurable. Yuzuru couldn’t remember an instance of his body reacting to Javier’s touch in such a strange way any time in the past.

Yuzuru pulled his hand away at once as if it had been scalded.

“Thanks, Yuzu”, Javier’s soft voice sent shivers down Yuzuru’s spine and he furrowed his brow in confusion. They didn’t interact directly for the rest of the practice session but Yuzuru seemed keenly aware of the other man’s presence – his eyes lingering on Javier’s lithe form. He couldn’t fight back an unexplainable sudden urge to hug Javier tightly at the end of their training, as if simply thanking for a productive practice session, yet he knew _something else_ made him do it.

It was so unlike Yuzuru’s usual detached behavior, Javier stiffened in his arms before returning the embrace with equal subdued vigor. Yuzuru’s breathing hitched, as he inhaled Javier’s scent deeply; the musk and pomegranate seed oil ( _he had no idea why on earth Javier could possibly even smell of it in the first place_ ). Javier’s broad palms felt solid against the small of his back. He never cared enough to notice how perfectly they actually fit there. They were burning Yuzuru’s sensitized skin through a thin layer of his traditional _Under Armour_ attire.

It felt weird. It felt too good to be true actually.

Yuzuru shivered before withdrawing, smiling at Javier distractedly. Javier was studying Yuzuru’s face, sensing a distinct shift in his attitude. He couldn’t quite grasp it but it was palpable; he had never seen Yuzuru’s dark eyes shining with such undisclosed interest for him before.

Shaking his head in confusion, Javier followed Yuzuru to the locker room to get changed and to take a hot shower.

Dealing with Yuzuru-walking-mystery-Hanyu on a daily basis was never an easy task.

 

*

 

Yuzuru was getting undressed with disobedient fingers, his movements visibly agitated. His heart was thumping wildly against his ribcage, air coming out of his parted lips in little shaky breaths. He took off his skin-tight t-shirt in utter frustration to throw it away to the nearest corner.

Yuzuru sensed with dread that something was way off with his body. He looked down to only see he had a raging hard on. A high-pitched squeak escaped him as he covered his mouth in shock. His blood rushed to his face and ears and Yuzuru found himself on the verge of a panic attack.

What the hell was going on?

An uncontrollable pull to touch himself seemed so overwhelming it hurt. Yuzuru was staring at the wall unblinkingly, afraid to turn around, afraid to look at Javier and to show a shameful state he was currently in. To make things worse, Javier has just finished showering and a white towel wrapped low around his hips was the only thing to cover his glorious nakedness.

A sudden fit of dizziness overcame Yuzuru and he nearly fell, losing his balance momentarily. Javier was at his side immediately, the touches of his strong hands scorching Yuzuru’s skin. Not fully realizing what exactly he was doing, Yuzuru practically launched at Javier, hands clawing with unbridled urgency at his moist skin, teeth catching the man’s lower lip, as Javier groaned in shock.

Yuzuru’s mind went absolutely blank; the only things to exist in the whole universe were the proximity of Javier’s naked skin, his surprised moans and the arousing taste his tongue held – a mix of black coffee beans and spicy chili pepper.

Yuzuru was losing his mind, his erection throbbing as he was clinging to Javier as if his dear life depended upon him.

Finally, Javier jolted back to reality, his initial stupor giving way to stunned realization of what had just happened between them. Yuzuru had just kissed him violently and he was rock hard against Javier’s thigh among all things. Javier knew his baffled expression must have looked ridiculous as he was simply gaping, at a total loss for words.  

Tiny tremors were wrecking Yuzuru from head to toe as he was staring at Javier, his eyes glazed. At last ( _after what seemed like an eternity_ ), Javier mustered up his self-control and muttered.

“What on earth are you doing, Yuzu? Is it some kind of a twisted cruel joke, huh? You think it is funny or something – to shove your tongue out of the blue down an unsuspecting man’s throat?! Tell me now what this is all about!”

Javier’s eyes were flashing fire and Yuzuru stretched his trembling hand to trace the contour of his sharp jaw gingerly. Javier pushed his hand aside, his voice acquiring a hysterical undertone as he practically screamed into Yuzuru’s face:

“Stop it, Yuzu! This is _not_ fucking funny! _Not_ fucking funny at all!”

Javier turned away, beginning to get dressed frantically as thoughts were running amok inside his mind. He wanted to get away from Yuzuru, wanted to think it was just a sick joke, desperately trying to find some kind of a rational explanation to his training partner’s outrageous actions.

He couldn’t confess to himself how utterly shaken the sensation of holding Yuzuru in his arms made him feel. It was too dangerous to even let the shadow of a possibility of _going_ _further_ than the damned kiss settle in his mind. The mere prospect knocked the sand from under him.

Javier casted one final glance at Yuzuru before storming out of the locker room, distressed.

 

*

 

Yuzuru closed his eyes, standing under running water in a shower stall – unmoving and acutely aware of every single hot droplet on his skin. Heavy arousal was coiling in his underbelly and he bit his bottom lip hard trying to fight an urge to touch his throbbing cock. His pulse was erratic and the sensation of Javier’s muscular body was imprinted in his memory to torture him further. Yuzuru was trapped in a delirious sexual frenzy, his desire _to touch_ _and_ _to be touched_ too overwhelming and insistent to ignore. He was practically on the verge of tears – humiliated, exposed and desperate, completely stripped of his well-calculated defenses.

_Vicious lust was eating him alive._

Yuzuru could never fathom he was capable of wanting someone as badly as he wanted Javier at that moment. Groaning in exasperation, Yuzuru slid down the moist wall, white tiles hard beneath his knees. He was squeezing his thighs repeatedly, trying to get some relief, his fingers flexing at his sides in helpless need.

Perhaps, Kikuchi-san’s only magical ability was his astounding intuition, as his sixth sense told him to go to the locker room. He saw the way Javier ran down the empty corridor, his flushed face being the epitome of sincere confusion. It sent a tremor through Kikuchi-san, a sense of impending doom gripping him.

Yuzuru truly presented a gut-wrenching sight.

Kikuchi-san found him hunched in a corner of the shower stall, all hot and bothered, eyes glazed with dark _want_.

Kikuchi-san turned off the water and fell to his knees, his hands grabbing Yuzuru’s quivering shoulders to shake him out of his trance-like state.

Yuzuru whispered, his voice breaking wealky.

“Please…Please…I need, Javi…I need him to…Please…”

Kikuchi-san went deathly pale as a terrible realization hit him hard in all of its cruel clarity – Yuzuru had only twenty-four hours left to live, less Javier agrees to save him. He could hardly believe he had been so careless to make the gravest mistake out of all – it seems that somehow Javier’s own sweat mixed with Yuzuru’s in the potion, severely changing its initial properties, turning the harmless strength-regenerating drink into a dreadfully powerful _love potion_.

Despair washed over Kikuchi-san as he was literally ready to tear his hair out.

He had to do something and he had to act immediately. His mind was racing, trying to analyze all of the possible scenarios.

Kikuchi-san quickly came to a conclusion that in reality there was only one.

After helping Yuzuru to get dressed he called Yumi-san to inform her that her son won’t come home that night. Kikuchi-san hated outright lies yet he had no other option but telling the worried woman that it was actually an important part of a much needed physiotherapy treatment Yuzuru had to undergo. Yumi-san didn’t appear wholly convinced but she trusted the old man and finally gave up, after pleading Kikuchi-san to be careful with her precious child not to harm him in any way.

Kikuchi-san squeezed his eyes tightly, trying to calm his frantic breathing and get his act together.

“What is going on with me, Kikuchi-sensei?”

“Shh… I know how to help you, my sweet boy. There’s no need to worry. Come.”

Kikuchi-san shoved Yuzuru’s feverishly trembling body into the passenger seat of the cab before telling the suspiciously alert driver Javier’s address.


	2. II.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B.! The following chapter contains explicit sexual content.

After getting home Javier couldn’t concentrate on anything, his thoughts stubbornly returning to what had occurred between him and Yuzuru in the locker room. He ate a serving of cold paella leftovers (not bothering to warm it up); he threw himself on the sofa and stared at the ceiling, too lost in a torrent of super-confusing mental images: the frantic look on Yuzuru’s face, the way he was looking at Javier with overwhelming longing, the way his delicate body pressed into Javier all needy and bothered.

Unlocking the screen of his mobile, Javier dialed Courtney’s number. They started dating a month and a half ago and he needed to hear his current girlfriend’s voice badly. He thought it could help him keep some semblance of his sanity, keep him grounded in reality.

She sounded genuinely surprised and sleepy as he had probably woken her up.

Javier tried to level the timbre of his slightly trembling voice. He kept on babbling about the weather and various meaningless trifles, purposely avoiding dangerous territories during their impromptu conversation. Javier could have never found it in him to tell her of his kiss with Yuzuru. His heart ached at the mere thought of it and he was _too afraid_ to analyze his own response to it, dreading it might eventually turn out it meant _way more_ than it ever supposed to.

The call didn’t give Javier any sense of relief he was seeking and he hanged up, feeling trapped. The usual ending phrase: “ _Love you too, babe_ ” suddenly stuck in his throat and he whispered it almost inaudibly.

Surprisingly, it seemed redundant to Javier and he buried his fingers in his hair in deep dejection.

Sleep seemed to be the only road to salvation and Javier closed his eyelids tiredly, wanting to wake up to a new day, to a new reality where everything would be restored to a normal, well-organized and familiar order with him and Yuzuru being slightly bitter but respectful towards each other friendly rivals, where the world-shattering sensual chaos of their first _irrational_ kiss would be considered non-existent.

 

It was already completely dark when someone thundered at the door of Javier’s rented apartment with the fists. Javier couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the elderly Yuzuru’s assistant standing at his door with his _young_ _master_ himself hanging like a rag-doll with its strings cut; Yuzuru’s only support was the old man’s shoulder, his lowered head swaying from side to side.

He looked like a broken mannequin. Javier’s heart clenched in sickening fear.

Kikuchi-san didn’t let Javier utter a single syllable before storming into his apartment. Javier heard Yuzuru moan quietly as he was lowered to the sofa in his spacious living-room unceremoniously.

Javier opened his mouth to speak but Kikuchi-san interrupted him with an assertive gesture.

“Listen to me carefully, Fernandez-san. There is no time for a proper explanation unfortunately. I have made a terrible mistake while making a drink for Yuzuru-sama and he dutifully drank it this very morning, as I had advised him to,” Kikuchi-san sounded edgy and sincerely concerned.

Javier was listening silently, staring at the old man wide-eyed as he continued his inconceivable story of _fucked up_ ancient rituals and witchery which he didn’t manage to handle properly. Javier opened his mouth a couple of times to thrust in a word but was stopped by Kikuchi-san’s categorical manner and authoritative tone.

Suddenly he felt so small, being crushed by the hand of destiny.

Kikuchi-san was pacing about the room like a caged lion, his extreme agitation infecting Javier.   

“There is only one thing in this whole universe that can save Yuzuru now. It is in your hands, his life is up to you, Fernandez-san, and your refusal means a certain death to him. The thing is the love potion becomes a potent poison in twenty-four hours if the one who had drunk it not… _unite_ with the object of his desire.”

Javier blinked several times, utterly stunned. He couldn’t believe his ears, going weak in the knees.

“Wait, wait! What the hell do you mean? A freaking ‘love potion’?! With all respect, Kikuchi-san…But are you taking me for a complete idiot? It really seems today is the day of awful jokes…”

Kikuchi-san’s stern eyes flashed dangerously and he grabbed Javier by the collar of his shirt, sizzling into his shocked face. Javier was taken aback by the sudden display of violent resolve which made him shut his mouth immediately.

“You have to save the boy, he is innocent! He doesn’t deserve to die! He deserves to live and to be loved! You have to save him, you have to help him, you were chosen from above or so it seems… Please…I am begging you, Fernandez-san. Help him!”

Javier’s shoulders deflated and he sighed heavily, his disbelieving stance crumbling with each passing moment.

“What can I do? Just tell me,” Javier wasn’t ready for the response he got though.

Kikuchi-san measured Javier with his impenetrable eyes.

“You have to fuck him senseless till he is fully satisfied. It is the only way, Fernandez-san.”

Javier burst into a fit of hysterical laughter, his legs refusing to support his weight.

“And that’s it?! Oh my fucking God…”

Kikuchi-san seemed unaffected by Javier’s outburst.

“I’ll come back tomorrow at six in the morning to get him home and if…If he is dead then _you are dead too,_ Fernandez-san,” warned the old man.

Javier’s brain refused to process the absurdity of the situation he found himself in. It was wrong on so many levels. It was nothing short of ridiculous.

Kikuchi-san took a set of keys from the desk in the corridor and after wagging his finger at Javier locked the apartment door, leaving him one on one with Yuzuru.

“Dios mío! Can I wake up, please?”

 

*

Javier pinched his cheek hoping to wake up miraculously. The enormity of what was expected of him was sending him spiraling down the darkest tunnel of a practically paralyzing anxiousness.

He went to the kitchen on an autopilot, taking a bottle of white rum out of the cupboard. Javier took several long drinks, the strong alcohol making his eyes water.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

He has never been more afraid in his whole life, caught off guard completely.

Had he any choice? Was it “written in the stars” as the blasted shaman had told him? Is he The Chosen One to save Yuzuru from a nonsensical death with the power of his magical dick?

 Javier would have surely laughed out loud if the situation wasn’t so serious.

He even contemplated calling mental health service; maybe the old man had gone off the rails and gave Yuzuru some sort of unknown poison singlehandedly. Maybe there is still time to call an ambulance and ask for an antidote; maybe it is the only right decision in order to end this psychotic delirium.

 

Javier turned all ears as it seemed there was a distinct sound of some movement in the corridor. Quiet steps were approaching the kitchen – bare feet against the laminated flooring boards to be exact.

He gulped nervously, dreading to turn around as he could sense Yuzuru’s presence behind him. There was an extremely awkward silence hanging in the air between them and all of a sudden Javier was swept by a scorching wave of helpless rage.

Javier looked back abruptly, only to be frozen to the spot by the sight of Yuzuru.

He got undressed obviously and was simply standing there stark naked and shivering; he looked exposed, feverish and desperate, the wild longing in his glassy eyes piercing Javier right to the very core.

Javier felt something inside him breaking irreversibly, snapping in half – certain part of him altering forever, as if he found himself at the point of no return; Javier realized acutely there was no way back, once the invisible line of physical intimacy is crossed between him and Yuzuru.

With frightening vividness, Javier was recollecting the years he spent training alongside Yuzuru. They were flashing in front of his mind eye like disjointed movie stills – different, seemingly unimportant details which nevertheless made huge difference to what in fact felt _real_ as soon as they were put into one string of dear-to-his-heart memories: Yuzuru’s bright smile, his infectious laughter, the way his whole countenance lightened up when he landed a perfect jump, the way he was mesmerizingly beautiful on ice, dancing with innate graciousness and the way Javier used to always _care_ if on a subconscious level.

Javier was there for _him_.

How could he let Yuzuru down in this single crucial moment?

The Yuzuru he has known for years, the Yuzuru who used to trust him, the Yuzuru with whom Javier shared inexplicable bond after all of the years of side-by-side training.

Did Javier truly have any choice? No.

With his heart pounding violently, Javier crossed the distance between them to take Yuzuru in his arms only to be shoved in the chest harshly. Yuzuru was staring him down with unseeing eyes, his lips bitten and scarlet.

He looked possessed.

Javier was watching transfixed as he bent over the kitchen table wantonly, his chest flush against its cool surface. Yuzuru looked at Javier over his shoulder, his eyes daunting and untamed. Javier’s brain short-circuited and he took one more long drink of rum straight from the bottle.

It was nothing but a miracle that he was still able to form words coherently.

Is this the Yuzu he has known for all these years? Javier began to seriously doubt it.

“I won’t do it on the kitchen table, Yuzu… Go to the couch in the living-room.” Tongue was disobeying Javier, making him stutter.

The extreme awkwardness, the first sting of heavy arousal and Yuzuru wordlessly doing just as he was told – going to the room meekly as a lamb and spreading himself over Javier’s sofa – made Javier hyperventilate.

He unbuttoned his shirt slowly, fingers trembling. His eyes were travelling all over Yuzuru’s nude body: his refined clavicles and tiny rosy nipples, his sinful waist and smooth expanse of his unblemished skin.

It was undeniable that Yuzuru was stunning.

Javier had never looked at him in _that way_ properly; yes, he was attracted towards Yuzuru but what was happening at the moment went far beyond any of the wildest dreams he had ever had. Sometimes Javier did wonder what it would feel like to press Yuzuru into the corner of the locker room and assault his tempting lips; he imagined some kissing and groping and even dry-humping but never – _this_.

Yuzuru was watching him through half-lidded eyes, painfully aroused and shamefully aware of the effect he was causing, lying there and waiting for Javier to act upon his want. His neediness was boldly on display and it both scared and excited Javier like probably nothing ever had.

Javier unzipped the fly of his jeans, taking his half-hard cock into his hand and beginning to stroke firmly. A lump formed at the back of his throat. Yuzuru moaned, devouring him with his eyes, opening his legs a bit wider, showing signs of impatience.

Javier’s heart was racing and he was so nervous his mouth went dry. He has never done it with a man before. Of course he knew the anatomy and the mechanics of the whole process but to do it in blood and flesh, to do it in real life and not as a part of a wet dream was a ground-breaking step for him.

He recalled how Courtney asked him to watch gay porn with her the other day just for a change and that he felt impossibly turned on after already the first ten minutes. They had steamy sex that evening but he has to fully realize that _here and now_ is _not_ on the screen of a laptop and that this is not some unknown stranger in front of him whom he can safely forget on the following morning, erasing the night from his memory.

_It is Yuzuru, for fuck’s sake._

_His Yuzu._

Javier was brought back to reality by Yuzuru, as his delicate hand slapped Javier’s hand away harshly to take care of him on his own, beginning to stroke hard and without ceremony right away. Javier threw his head back and groaned loudly, an onslaught of intense pleasure making him breathless. He was getting close swiftly with each masterful twist of Yuzuru’s fragile wrist.

“No, Yuzu… Stop… I can’t hold on…I…”

“Please, please…” Yuzuru’s choked whimpers and the desperation in his voice made Javier shiver with anticipation, hair at the back of his head standing on end.

“Just give me one minute, Yuzu…Wait here.”

Javier practically ran to the bedroom to get a pack of condoms (he was ready to bet he looked comical – running down the corridor panicking and naked, rummaging through the drawers of the bedside table, silently praying for the pack to be in its place). Smacking his forehead in exasperation, Javier realized he had no lube because he was not too much into experimentation of this kind before.

_Dammit._

_Just think, think, think…_

Once Javier returned to the living-room with a pack of condoms and a vial of massage oil ( _Courtney’s favourite flavor – sandalwood_ ), he saw Yuzuru caressing himself brazenly: his fingers sliding along his chiseled torso to play with his pert nipples, his powerful thighs spread obscenely wide as he was writhing wild with want.

A sudden vicious need to be inside Yuzuru caught Javier completely off guard. He coated his index and middle fingers in oil quickly ( _not bothering to screw the lid back onto the vial_ ), before slipping the both of them without any warning, all the way in.

Enraptured, Javier was watching Yuzuru arching up sensually, wordlessly begging for more, as he was opening up around his penetrating fingers beautifully.

Yuzuru was amazingly tight and hot and Javier groaned with lust. His fingers were shaking badly as he put on a condom and then in one powerful, smooth thrust buried himself up to the hilt inside Yuzuru’s body. Yuzuru cried out sharply, tensing like a bowstring beneath him, his short nails scratching at Javier’s bare back and making him hiss in pain.

It felt incredible. Nothing has ever been close to this.

Javier set a punishing pace from the very start, thrusting between Yuzuru’s quivering thighs, drowning in sweat and his high-pitched cries. He began stroking Yuzuru in perfect sync with his hard thrusts and very soon it was all over.

Yuzuru spilled into Javier’s fist as he kept on fucking him through the aftershocks of his orgasm, sperm wet and warm on his fingers and intoxicating cadence of Yuzuru’s whimpers and breathless whines echoing in his ears.  

His own orgasm was _fantastic_ ; it came blinding and overpowering, crushing Javier with its force, leaving him weightless and completely spent.

_Phew._

Javier couldn’t grasp the sense of reality for several long minutes. Turning to lie on his back and opening his eyelids lazily, he realized Yuzuru was nowhere to be seen.

“Yuzu!” Javier called out, his voice breaking.

He heard an unmistakable sound of running water from the kitchen. He felt he could kill for a glass of cool liquid at the moment.

“Yuzu, get me some water too, please!”

Quite soon Yuzuru came back with a glass of water in his hand. He looked totally wrecked, yet the possessed gleam in his eyes didn’t lose any of its dark intensity. Javier gulped nervously staring at Yuzuru jaw-slacked.

His skin was glistening with sweat and his cock was rock hard again.

_Oh shit._

Yuzuru smiled at him a dopey smile, his slightly parted lips – two blood-red poppies, his cheeks – two rose petals of the faintest pink. Javier felt intoxicated by his poisonous beauty which seemed to break into full bloom in the afterglow of an amazing sex.

“I can’t believe we really did it, Yuzu! Just take a look at the mess we’ve made! Now come here… I think I am dying of thirst…”

Javier sat up, his back against the back of the couch and legs planted on the floor.

Yuzuru smirked, the beautiful curve of his lips twisting. He did as he was told, coming to stand between Javier’s parted legs, looking down at him.

“Do you want to drink, Javi?”

Javier nodded, sliding his hands up Yuzuru’s hips, tracing the insane curve of his body, his fingertips drawing invisible patterns on his silky skin.

“Later.”

Yuzuru emptied the glass of water on Javier’s cock and lower belly, the couch he was sitting on getting soaked.

“What the hell, Yuzu?!”  Javier jerked, his eyes going wide.

The next moment he felt Yuzuru’s hot mouth around his cock, sucking tightly. Javier groaned in ecstasy, his hips bucking helplessly. He covered his eyes with the back of his hand, getting lost in the overwhelming sensation of Yuzuru’s lips and tongue. He didn’t dare to move, didn’t dare to watch, simply taking it.

It felt too much too soon.

Javier ran his hand through Yuzuru’s messy hair – not really touching him but rather wordlessly pleading not to stop. He let Yuzuru dictate the rhythm, giving away the reigns entirely.

Javier began thrusting up into Yuzuru’s mouth, the tip of his cock hitting the back of his constricting throat.

_Once, twice, thrice._

Yuzuru withdrew abruptly, his abused lips obscenely swollen.

Javier groaned like a wounded animal. He never wanted anyone more, Yuzuru’s passion setting his own blood on fire.

 

Yuzuru straddled Javier’s hips to ride him hard and fast directly into oblivion. Javier was gripping him by the waist, his eyes shut tightly, moaning each time Yuzuru sank down; Yuzuru’s killer thighs were working their magic, their muscles flexing beautifully as he was moving up and down on Javier’s cock with ferocious abandon.

Javier thought he was about to die as he was coming deep inside Yuzuru’s sweet tightness, the intensity of his second orgasm making his vison tunnel.

Afterward, Javier passed into deep slumber, completely exhausted and vaguely aware of Yuzuru’s warm body pressed into his side.

It was not the most comfortable position for sleeping by far but Javier didn’t seem to give a damn.

 

Yuzuru woke him up at the dawn so that Javier could take him again, this time from behind – his fingers grabbing the couch with a white-knuckle force, lascivious moans spilling from his lips as Javier nailed his prostate with a nearly surgical precision.

Javier felt trapped in a vicious cycle of sex acts, his sanity shifting. He was on the verge of fainting as he came yet again; finally reaching a shattering climax after what seemed like an eternity. Using his last ounce of strength, Javier pulled out to collapse at Yuzuru’s side, shaking all over and totally blissed out.

He thought this night would never come to an end.

 

*

Javier blinked away last vestiges of sleep, feeling terribly dehydrated and jaded, his whole body aching. He saw Yuzuru lying curled up at his side with his thin arm thrown across Javier’s torso possessively. It looked as though he was sleeping soundly: his head on Javier’s abdomen, his warm breath tickling the skin next to his bellybutton.

“Well, he definitely doesn’t look like a corpse to me,” Javier muttered under his breath. His chest was swelling with pride and he sighed in relief.

It does look like he _is_ Yuzuru’s savior after all.

“The old witch-doctor owes me a debt. That’s for sure.”

Javier glanced at the wall clock. It was still early. Carefully getting from beneath Yuzuru’s sprawled body, he headed to the kitchen, his gait a little wobbly.

He cried out in surprise upon seeing Kikuchi-san sitting comfortably at the table, sipping his green tea calmly. The set of keys to Javier’s apartment was lying in front of him.

Javier snapped his mouth shut.

In his turn Kikuchi-san greeted him with a knowing smile.

“It looks like you did _well_ , Fernandez-san!”

Javier’s face turned crimson with embarrassment and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“The danger has passed,” assured the old man.

Javier bit his bottom lip.

“What about my past self being ruined? What about it’s never being the same again? What about my whole world tilting off axis? What about Yuzuru waking up? What about me having to look him in the eyes somehow?”

Javier didn’t voice the questions, answers to which were yet to be found one way or another.

 

 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't promise next update soon.  
> :3


	3. III.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It will never ever be the same again between the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for some angst & feels.  
> ;3

Yuzuru opened his leaden eyelids to take in the world. The surroundings seemed vaguely familiar, yet he couldn’t quite grasp the reality of the previous twenty-four hours. His sleepy brain was slowly returning its functions back to normal, although mere thinking demanded efforts. His whole body was aching dully and his temples throbbed. He was extremely thirsty, yet he couldn’t move a finger.

He heard Javier’s and Kikuchi-san’s subdued voices behind the wall.

Where the hell was he to begin with?

The feeling of complete disorientation was both scary and oppressive. Yuzuru shut his eyes tightly because he found darkness to be somehow comforting.

His memory was recovering gradually, phantoms of his vivid imagination mingling with the succession of images he believed to be truthful: of him drinking the potion, of him going through his daily skating routine at the subsequent practice and then everything turning into a delirious _dream_ – the feel of constant low-key arousal which later became a wildfire of carnality to reduce him to ashes. Ghostly vestiges of Javier’s heated touches and the way his lips tasted, his hands branding Yuzuru’s sensitive skin like red-hot iron. His body remembered the sensations too vividly for them to simply be illusions or bodily hallucinations, each pore and each cell of his – the way Javier was moving inside of him so real and hot and pulsing, continuing to fill him up so perfectly it made Yuzuru ache with need.

Yuzuru recalled the way he writhed beneath Javier, his abused lips forming barely coherent pleads and praises. He never wanted it to end, he was insatiable and lusty.

He was _not_ himself.

A scorching wave of shame swept over Yuzuru. He felt stunned and confused to the very core: how could that not be a part of a twisted erotic fantasy but a _real_ encounter with someone who once used to be his training mate and respected rival..? Everything seemed damaged now in an unrepairable kind of way. There was no return to the days of easy smiles and innocent laughter and platonic touches because Yuzuru knew how Javier’s felt as a lover.

A bitter lump formed at the back of Yuzuru’s throat as he finally found it in him to move. He searched the room, gathering his scattered across the floor articles of clothing. He noticed some telling traces of dried fluids on his stomach and inner thighs and he felt like throwing up.

He was used… or was he the one who actually used Javier? His own lustful moans were echoing in his ears and he wanted the ground to swallow him up, as humiliation was making his eyes water.

How could he lose control in such a dreadful and unapologetic manner? There was this weird pull of attraction towards his training partner: Javier’s shining eyes and his genuine smiles and his silky curls and strong arms…It always existed somewhere at the periphery of Yuzuru’s mind while remaining safely put into the furthest box with the label _‘too dangerous to open’_ on its lid. He never ever thought of succumbing, of losing himself to something so wrong and irrational, something that could turn his whole world upside down in the blink of an eye.

Wasn’t Javier _straight_ in the first place? Didn’t he have a girlfriend above all things?

Yuzuru shuddered, nauseating panic seizing him as he desperately tried to comb strands of his mussed hair with his fingers. 

Yet the disaster was bound to happen and now Yuzuru fully realized he had to deal with its consequences. He won’t hide and won’t back down, won’t run away like a coward. At the very bottom of his heart Yuzuru was terrified yet he knew he had no choice but to face Javier directly. Their heart-to-heart talk was absolutely inevitable.

Yuzuru got fully dressed, his fingers numb, wincing at the shameful pain between his thighs.

He found Javier at the kitchen with Kikuchi-san, their worried gazes taking in his whole appearance – the old man’s intent eyes scanning him from head to toe. As for Javier, he looked genuinely embarrassed, his cheeks heating up as he realized that he was still stark naked. It was plainly obvious he wanted to look at anything _but_ Yuzuru at the moment. The air was stuffed with the sense of practically intolerable awkwardness and Yuzuru found it hard to breathe.

Javier cleared his throat to break the silence.

“Will you excuse me? I need to go get dressed…Sorry. ” He rushed out of the kitchen and Yuzuru’s tensed shoulders relaxed a fraction.

Kikuchi-san shifted in his chair by the table, opening his mouth to speak, yet Yuzuru made a gesture for him to remain silent.

“Not here…We’ll talk later…There’s a lot to discuss for sure. The only thing I want to know is…” Yuzuru swallowed hard, pressing his lips into a thin line of visible distress.

“Did I…? Did I _force_ him in any way… to be with me?” Words left Yuzuru’s quivering lips and the old man shook his head frantically. Yuzuru couldn’t read the expression in Kikuchi-san’s dark eyes and it irritated him to no end.

“I’ll explain everything to you, Yuzuru-san. I made a terrible mistake and it is all my fault. I beg you to forgive me and if there is anything I can do to amend the situation – just, please, let me know! In the past twenty-four hours you were on the brink of death but Fernandez-san…He _saved_ you…It was the only way. Please, forgive him. There was no other choice but to…”

Yuzuru’s nostrils flared and he chuckled darkly.

“Forgive _him_? Maybe it is _me_ who has to be forgiven?” Yuzuru tried his hardest not to lose his temper, his pupils dilated and voice cracking with emotion. He could deal with Kikuchi-san later; now there existed only abysmal feeling of guilt that was eating him alive.

Kikuchi-san got up and made a step closer.

“The car is waiting downstairs. If you let me…”

“Wait for me there! And now leave!”

Yuzuru’s voice rose dangerously high, acquiring some hysterical notes. Kikuchi-san lowered his head meekly as a lamb. He closed the door behind him with quiet resignation.

Yuzuru crossed his arms on his breast. There was a storm of confusing emotions raging in his chest. In a sudden fit of uncontrollable irritation Yuzuru threw the empty cup, Kikuchi-san had been previously drinking from, off the table and it shattered against the tiled kitchen floor. His own slip of control caught Yuzuru off guard and he felt so vulnerable it disgusted him. He needed to find a right way to deal with the consequences of the downfall; he had to redeem himself in his own eyes. Yuzuru despised himself for this ugly outburst of emotional instability. He had to get his act together not to let Javier see him like this – being a complete emotional wreck, being at his lowest.

Yuzuru immediately bent over to pick up the fragments of the broken cup with trembling fingers. One particularly sharp piece cut the skin of his ring finger and he hissed in pain, staring at the crimson drop of blood dumbly. Hot tears were threatening to spill from his eyes and he began to suffocate, his chest rising and falling erratically.

The next thing Yuzuru felt was a pair of strong arms as Javier brought him back to his feet.

“Let them be, Yuzu. I’ll take care of them later.”

The touch was familiar, yet painstakingly _different_ at the same time. Yuzuru felt overwhelmed by the proximity of Javier’s body.

_It will never ever be the same again between the two of them._

Javier’s scent was attacking his senses and Yuzuru was at the verge of a panic attack. He tried to get away from Javier’s embrace, thrashing in his arms violently.

Javier wasn’t going to let him go.

“Shhh…Don’t…Have you cut yourself? Let me see!”

Javier was trying to make his voice sound as soothing as possible. He was looking at Yuzuru’s pale, distorted features and his heart ached. He needed to stay calm; he needed to find a way to ease Yuzuru’s inner turmoil because watching Yuzuru in such a wretched state, seemingly at the brink of a nervous breakdown, was particularly unbearable to him.  

Javier thought them both being victims of circumstances, of an unfathomable twist of fate. It happened that way and they had to accept it as a simple ( _?_ ) fact of their ( _now common_ ) past – to try to recuperate what was left of their friendship, to try to save one another in the aftermath of this cruel and unintended mistake. Javier was silently praying for Yuzuru to let him help him, as his own world was slowly crumbling inside, beneath the onslaught of confusing emotions he knew not how to cope with yet.

Javier looked at the tiny bleeding cut on Yuzuru’s finger before bringing it to his lips in an unselfconscious gesture which scared them both. Yuzuru was staring at him aghast and his own heart was ready to jump out of his ribcage.

“What are you doing?! Stop now!”

Yuzuru tried to yank his hand away from the bruising clutch of Javier’s strong fingers. After initial hesitation Javier let go, taking a step back as if scared by his own awkward display of genuine affection. It seemed inappropriate – the uncalled for intimacy which was never a part of what had occurred between them to begin with.

Yuzuru was taken aback by Javier’s action as it made stir something deep inside of him. He sensed they were treading on dangerous grounds. After all, the sexual pull could at least be explained but _this_ … _this_ was something entirely different.

Yuzuru’s body reacted instantly to the innocent touch of Javier’s lips and he needed to break the contact at once because he did hope ( _in spite of anything_ ) that the whole thing could be forgotten for good as if it had never happened in the first place. Alas, Yuzuru’s body showed him how wrong that assumption of his was, as he shivered at Javier’s simple touch, suddenly feeling utterly helpless and thoroughly exposed.

“Let’s forget about this…Please,” Yuzuru stammered, flinching inwardly under Javier’s penetrating gaze.

A tiny voice inside his head was screaming that he was acting like a coward; that he was behaving like the one who wanted to close his eyes and _unsee_ in a very faint-hearted manner something _very real_ , something greatly important and impossible to ignore for the both of them.

Yuzuru despised weakness wholeheartedly, yet part of him wanted to grab Javier by the face and force a kiss on those damned lips – to just know what it would feel like to kiss him while being sober and in clear mind. Yuzuru deemed it to be extremely selfish. He reminded himself that Javier actually had a girlfriend and that it was him who had obviously lured Javier into cheating and betrayal.

Yuzuru was overcome by a poisonous wave of repulsion and self-deprecation. It hurt so much he was on the verge of crying.

_Why did he keep on wanting Javier’s touch even now? Did he enjoy being used like a whore, like a mere fucktoy meant to please and to be ravished while unexplainably craving every blasted moment to last?_

Yuzuru lost it completely when Javier made an attempt to near him again.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t you think I am _dirty_? I won’t let you ever touch me again! I am not your slut! You think you can fuck me and then and then… just act as if you care as if I mean something to you…I am appalled by what you had done to me! I am disgusted by what you have put me through!”

Yuzuru was ghastly pale, shaking from head to toe as his dark eyes were blazing in fury.

Javier was momentarily paralyzed by the sheer audacity of Yuzuru’s accusations.

At first, he tried to shush him, his own voice full of sincere concern, although the merciless words Yuzuru was throwing at him did hurt a lot. Yet, he had to maintain self-control; after all, these still might be some effects of the accursed _love potion_ manifesting in the form of Yuzuru’s ugly breakdown.

Yuzuru didn’t look quite himself at the moment.

“Please, Yuzu…Just calm down! We’ll figure it out somehow! Everything will be the same again! I promise!” Javier was mumbling, not entirely convinced even himself.

Yuzuru slapped Javier hard across his gaping face and his cheek stung.

“Stop with the nonsense, Javier! We both know it will never be the same! It used to be simple and now it is ruined! You ruined it! You did it! How could you, Javi?! I trusted you! I thought you were my friend…”

It was obvious Yuzuru wasn’t planning to stop the blistering tirade of his anytime soon: pacing the kitchen like a caged feline, the gleam in his black eyes nothing short of predatory. He looked extremely agitated.

Javier felt his blood beginning to boil.

“Shut up!” He shouted, before grabbing Yuzuru by his thin wrists forcefully. Yuzuru was blind with rage, he was barely aware of the way Javier was pressing into him with his whole body, having him trapped against the kitchen wall.  He couldn’t make himself fall silent.

“Did you like it?! Tell me did you like it, Javi?! To use me like a whore, to just fuck me, taking advantage of the state I was apparently in?! Why didn’t you even apologize?! You think I can be used and then get rid of…thrown away like a piece of garbage! Am I not worthy, Javi?! Not worthy of you…”

Javier shook Yuzuru harshly several times. He was positively fuming, Yuzuru’s false accusations reaching the bottom of his heart and making him sick.

“Yeah?! You really wanna know how it all went, huh?! Then let me tell you, dear Yuzu! Kikuchi-san dragged you in here late last night and you were all writhing, half-mad with desire… Oh, believe me it was a sight to behold!”

Yuzuru felt his cheeks burn with shame as Javier continued ruthlessly.

“He begged me to fuck you to “save you” or so he said! Ha-ha! The old man was constantly repeating about some Chinese medicine and ‘love potions turning poison’ and that you would surely die in twenty-four hours had I listen to my conscience of a ‘loyal boyfriend’! How about this, my sweet Yuzu?!”

Yuzuru cringed in horror, staring at Javier unblinkingly.

“And then you got undressed and spread your beautiful legs so that I could get on with it… You were so impatient and eager to get fucked, Yuzu… I couldn’t believe my own eyes, I had never seen you like this before and I began panicking at first but… I just couldn’t refuse you… couldn’t deny your shameless want! And now you think you have the right to make me _alone_ responsible for everything!”

Javier was spitting his hurtful tirade into Yuzuru’s deathly-pale face, watching his lips quiver.

 “Fuck it, Yuzu!”

Yuzuru lowered his eyes, crushed by shame, his shoulders deflating as if all of the strength had been sucked out of him.

“I am sorry,” he whispered under his breath, his mouth barely moving.

Javier felt his irritation evaporate practically in the blink of an eye. He was momentarily stunned by the look of utter defeat on Yuzuru’s expressive face. Yuzuru looked wounded, vulnerable to the point it made Javier regret his own fit of sudden rage bitterly.

“I never meant to hurt you, Yuzu. I am sorry. I am glad you are _alive_ and I _care_ about you. And even if the old man was lying, I… well…I never felt anything like _this_ before – being with you felt so _special_ , to tell the truth, I don’t even regret it the way I am probably supposed to…”

Yuzuru turned away, pressing his forehead against the hard surface of the wall, as Javier watched his back tremble. He began weeping silently, choking down salty tears.

Javier _hated_ it and he longed to touch Yuzuru, yet something was preventing him from making a move. He felt totally foolish after his spontaneous confession; it seemed senseless and to a degree reckless. Even though in the moment of unbidden self-revelation, Javier realized that he definitely did feel something for Yuzuru. He was unable address it directly but it was there – glaring and overpowering.

Javier was waiting patiently for Yuzuru to wipe his eyes, as the tearful storm had finally subsided. He was listening to Yuzuru’s hectic breathing calming down gradually.

Yuzuru avoided looking into Javier’s eyes as he made his way to the exit. He made sure not to touch Javier as he slid past his reclining form.

Javier didn’t try to stop him, his fingers flexing at his sides.

“I think I’d better go…Let’s just forget about it, ok? Please,” Yuzuru sounded absolutely exhausted; he looked _empty_ and Javier was stricken in his soul with the expression his tear-stained face held.

“Take care, Yuzu.”

Javier closed the door behind Yuzuru, feeling totally devastated.

There was a gaping void inside his chest and an almost surreal feel of loss.


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuzuru has drunk the love potion, yet the one who ends up addicted is Javier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angst is coming.

*

 

On the following day Yuzuru skipped practice and Brian informed him that Yumi called to tell that Yuzuru got ill. Guilt washed over Javier anew and he went through his ordinary skating routine as if in a daze, uninspired and stiff. Brian looked puzzled and concerned, yet he didn’t ask any questions, biting his tongue, and Javier was sincerely grateful for it. He considered dialing Yuzuru’s number numerous times to just hear his voice. It was confusing and slightly terrifying – the pull, the urge, the need… _to just hear his voice_.

Ultimately, Javier decided against it, the image of Yuzuru asking him to forget about everything and to just pretend nothing happened still too vivid in front of his mind eye. Javier dreaded that Yuzuru would retreat into his shell completely, would shut him out, the invisible walls of his defenses around him as high as ever. He missed Yuzuru’s presence at the rink badly and it felt ridiculous – not a single day had passed and yet it already seemed like an eternity to Javier. He started feeling strangely incomplete, as if Yuzuru had become a vital part of his daily existence: totally unexpected, out of nowhere, so sudden… like a fucking nuclear blast, Javier ending up reduced to ashes by its devastating impact.

_Scary._

_Inevitable._

_Merciless._

The realization was as shocking as it was truthful and Javier knew not where to hide from its glaring vividness. He won’t be running away from himself forever.

Endless hours were dragging, days passing by as the absurd situation headed exactly where Javier dreaded it would go the most.  Yuzuru asked Brian to change their training schedules so they wouldn’t overlap. At first Javier felt genuinely infuriated and then his initial rage turned into a quiet resignation.

Was he just a disposable object ( _signifying nothing_ ) in Yuzuru’s life? A tiny, unfortunate stain of shame on his otherwise impeccable reputation? Was guilt eating him alive? Was he _regretting_ it?

It hurt like hell, corroding Javier from the inside. He had to find a way to make it stop. Now it was him who was actually in need of salvation. He often smiled bitterly at the paradox of it all and at such moments he wanted nothing but to strangle Kikuchi-san.

 

In the evening Javier went to the local pub and got wasted. He felt utterly miserable. Later, he burst into Courtney’s apartment at the ungodly hour to fuck her roughly on the cold floor of the corridor and it _didn’t_ feel right at all. As Javier was pounding his frustration into her familiar heat he felt getting more and more lost with each passing moment; weirdly detached.

Courtney cupped his flustered face to stare at him intently.

“Is something wrong, Javi?”

Of course her damned intuition immediately told her that something was way off. How could Javier hope it wouldn’t? Sometimes he was so easy to read, all of his emotions bubbling on the very surface. He knew Yuzuru used to read him in exactly the same way.

Javier inhaled shakily. He wasn’t going to tell her _all_ of the truth, yet he wasn’t going to outright lie either. She didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve to be a part of the awful mess a cruel and inexplicable twist of fate brought upon him and Yuzuru.

“I cheated on you.”

That’s it. He said it; like a stab of a sharp knife – uncompromising and painful and brutally honest ( _it took all of his courage, to tell the truth_ ), yet Javier realized full well he would never be able to name _the one_ he had cheated her with.

Javier knew he did hurt her inevitably but he felt a wave of instant relief. It better be done now than later, because the profound change which had occurred in him will not disappear like a nightmarish dream with the first ray of the rising sun…Dark magic works this way only in silly B-movies, doesn’t it? Albeit, in his case it seems dishearteningly _real_ , to the extent he feels doomed and destined to succumb to whatever there is in store for him.

Courtney’s face contorted with a mix of disbelief and hurt. She pulled away, desperately trying to cover her naked breasts.

_Javier’s relief turned into hellish turmoil in the mere blink of an eye._

_Javier felt like shit. He felt guilty._

“It was Yuzuru, wasn’t it?!”

Javier stared at her with wide eyes. He was stunned. How could she possibly guess? It didn’t make sense to him, her intuitive abilities now seemingly verging on telepathy.

_What the fuck?_

“There was something going on between you…Always. This barely there tension, the infinitesimal sparkle…The way your eyes used to linger and how you kept blabbing on and on about him nonstop…I thought it was simple admiration and…I was so naïve, Javi,” Courtney’s voice cracked and Javier saw tears well in the corners of her eyes.

“I am sorry,” he muttered. “I did it only once and it was…It was like a blinding flash…”

“Please, spare me from your cheesy metaphors…You just wanted to fuck him and you did! Admit it!”

Javier’s head was swimming with alcohol he had consumed as he was trying to tell Courtney about the whole surreal situation with the ‘love potion’ and Kikuchi-san’s mistake which had almost turned out to be fatal.

At first, Courtney looked stricken into stone and then she began laughing manically.

“Seriously, Javier, this has to be the lamest excuse for cheating ever…All of the bullshit you are trying to feed me with doesn’t even deserve to be analyzed! You just wanted to fuck him and that’s all! No need to pretend anymore! I saw it in your eyes…How foolish it was of me to believe that I was the one you could truly love! Oh, and will you, please, stop acting like you are straight, ok? It is a pitiful sight and you have obviously failed!”

Her tirade stung and Javier flinched, as if being hit, his lips trembling visibly.

“Please, you have to believe me…”

 “Get out! Get out!”

She thrusted Javier out of her apartment as soon as he got dressed and he found himself at the street in the middle of the night. He sat down on the pavement, fishing out a pack of cigarettes out of the pocket of his wrinkled jacket. The guilty pleasure he used to indulge himself with once in a while.

_Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic._

_You._

_Are._

The nicotine hit in, bringing with itself a sense of fake, artificial relief and distinct bitterness. Stars were blinking at Javier from above disdainfully. He didn’t feel like going back to his own apartment, suddenly afraid of the eerie silence and solitude that was waiting for him in there. Would he be forever haunted by the wicked images of him and Yuzuru on his sofa ( _it seems it’s cursed now and he needs to replace it with a new one as soon as possible_ ).

Taking a deep drag and closing his stinging eyes, Javier recalled the night he spent with Yuzuru, replaying it in his feverish mind over and over again – the most exquisite torture he could only fathom. It turned his whole existence upside down; it wrecked him in a way he never started to imagine was possible and he couldn’t find words to describe the things he had gone through in a couple of previous days. He knew some integral part of him has been altered forever. He could not quit thinking of Yuzuru, couldn’t bring himself not to care and to simply _forget_. Javier found comfort in the thought that Yuzuru had to live with it as well; he didn’t entertain a possibility that Yuzuru had successfully erased it from his memory altogether.

_We are both poisoned, Yuzu, and you are unable to change the fact, no matter how hard you might try to._

Javier caught himself thinking that he wanted to kill Kikuchi-san with his own bare hands, yet he had no doubts it wouldn’t help to smother the feelings he had for Yuzuru ever since the accursed night of their sorcerous passion. Well, it definitely looked like he was the one in need of an exorcism now.

_Possessed._

Could it be that Javier’s unbearable yearning for Yuzuru was caused by something supernatural as well? Maybe he was influenced by the old man’s dark spells?

Thoughts were racing hectically inside Javier’s throbbing head and he felt _desperate_. After several minutes of torturous battle with his common sense, Javier dialed Yuzuru’s number. It was already late and he was ready to bet that Yuzuru wouldn’t pick up, probably splayed out on his bed in his ridiculous Pooh-san pajamas, one eye opened ( _Javier couldn’t quite place where he had heard about the creepy fact – was it mentioned in a Japanese TV show?_ ), as he was lost in the unconscious realm of sleep.

Unsurprisingly, no one answered. Equally overwhelmed and frustrated, Javier clenched the mobile phone in his pale fingers. The cigarette burned the tip of his forefinger and he hissed in pain.

“I’ll get you, Yuzu…You won’t hide from me forever…”

Javier’s gaze landed on the purple neon lights of the sign above the doors of a nearby nightclub. He got up to his feet; the night was still young, after all…

 

 

*

 

On the fateful morning of _the aftermath_ Yuzuru returned home after a prolonged discussion with Kikuchi-san on his way home at the back seat of the car. He was shocked and disgusted by the way everything turned out. He didn’t scream at the old man, didn’t even raise his voice once. He listened with utmost patience, looking reserved and deceptively calm while everything inside him was practically boiling.

His porcelain countenance didn’t crack though, until he locked up in the bathroom of his condo, a powerful wave of nausea making his eyes water as his stomach began to churn. He threw up with air, afraid that his mother would hear the gagging noises and would make him tell her everything. He was traumatized and he wasn’t ready to tell her yet. It wouldn’t change the fact that he felt _used._ He couldn’t get rid of the nagging, tiny voice at the back of his mind constantly reminding him that he was now no better that a _dirty slut_ , who was aching for more – writhing to get fucked harder, moaning and begging to be thoroughly _ruined_. Was he now any better than a worthless fucktoy? Kikuchi-san explained it wasn’t Yuzuru’s fault at all and added that neither he nor Javier were to blame for what had happened between them. He apologized countless times and Yuzuru pitied him at the bottom of his heart, he believed it was an unintentional mistake and that the old man didn’t mean him harm.

Yet Yuzuru needed time to come in terms with the whole situation and as he was staring at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror he was swept with a sense of self-disgust. Yuzuru was scrubbing at his skin in the shower with manic vigor, wanting to get rid of Javier’s persistent smell which seemed to seep through his skin, branding his insides. Dull ache was throbbing between his thighs and he thought he felt Javier’s _essence_ still in him. It made Yuzuru feel terrible.

He recalled the look in Javier’s eyes during their last talk right before he left Javier’s apartment – the loss and the desperation and the concern. Perhaps, Javier did care after all and wanted to repair the remnants of their messed up friendship…

_No._

Yuzuru squeezed his eyes tightly to chase away the images of his shameful break down in front of Javier. He despised himself for the display of weakness. He showed how vulnerable he could be, he was so profoundly overwhelmed by the experience it scared him to death.

Nothing had ever felt more real to Yuzuru than when Javier’s strong hands were on his skin, than when Javier’s greedy lips and tainted touches were marking him as theirs. His body betrayed him and Yuzuru was perfectly aware it would be the same again, once the chance presents itself – there’s no way in seventh’s hell he would crawl on all fours to Javier, with his head hung low to helplessly ask for more.

_Shame. Shame. Shame._

“Are you fine in there, dear?” His mother sounded genuinely concerned behind the locked bathroom door.

“Yes, mom!” Yuzuru said in a flat voice. He needed to get himself together quickly, a mask of perfect composure put on again to grant safety from the intruding questions he was afraid of answering even to himself.

 

They had their breakfast in awkward silence. Yumi noticed the strange way Yuzuru kept on escaping to look her straight in the eye. He looked sickly pale and heartbreakingly _fragile_ and she desperately wanted to find out what exactly was going on in that small head of his. The moment Yuzuru asked her to call Brian to inform him that he wouldn’t go to practice on that day, all alarm sirens in her mind screamed.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

She ruffled his slightly damp raven hair and it didn’t escape her, the way Yuzuru’s entire body stiffened uncharacteristically at her touch. He looked _altered_ ; there was something vague in his appearance that made Yumi realize her son had returned home a different person on that morning.

“Tell me _everything_ ,” Yumi’s tone was unyielding and her intense eyes were burning through Yuzuru, shedding off a layer after a layer, getting beneath his skin and to his very soul.

The special connection of a mother and a son which existed between the two of them made Yuzuru crumble into her arms, telling her everything in half-choked whispers, not shying away from the most explicit of details – he needed her assure him that he was still worthy of love, he longed to hear from her that he could still find a way to restore the fragile inner balance by learning to accept his _new self_.

 She looked completely stunned and he couldn’t wipe the shocked expression off her face. Yuzuru hated making his mother worry.

Will she ever be able to look him in the eye without thinly veiled sympathy or bitter disappointment?

Several long minutes passed before Yumi found it in her to speak.

“It is not your fault, Yuzuru. No one is to blame for this mistake but Kikuchi-san,” her dark eyes blazed. She gripped Yuzuru’s trembling fingers, squeezing them comfortingly.

“We’ll keep on living as we used to… Just you and I….I’ll always be protecting you no matter what! You are the most precious thing in my life! We’ve been through so much together! I love you so much, my dear boy! No one will make me love you less… Nothing can change my desire to see you happy! You deserve only the best there is, darling! Shhh…Come here, don’t you cry, please…”

Yuzuru let her motherly warmth envelop him, he inhaled the earthly smell of her silky hair and it brought him a sense of familiar comfort. She won’t reject him, won’t despise, won’t judge… He was clinging to her form as if his life depended on it.

“We can even leave Toronto and fly back to Japan if you want…”

Yuzuru’s shoulders tensed immediately and he took a shaky breath.

“NO!” He didn’t mean to sound so wind-up; nervous exhaustion was getting the best of him.

Yumi frowned, cupping Yuzuru’s face to look at him closely.

“Do you still want to see _that man_ , Yuzuru? Maybe it would be better for us to just…”

Yuzuru’s composure cracked, his tear-stained face twisting in a grimace of sudden fury.

“I have been training here for years and my life doesn’t revolve around him! I didn’t want for all of this to happen in the first place! Yes, I know the moment I lay my eyes on _him_ again I’ll be reminded of what has happened between us! But I won’t run like I am the one who is _guilty_! I want to train hard and I want to win and I want to become a better skater and a better person and I want everything to be like before and I want it to be perfect and…”

“Yuzuru…”

Yumi was gravely concerned.

Looking at Yuzuru at such unhinged state was painful and Yumi tightened her embrace, feeling small tremors taking over Yuzuru’s body. She wanted to provide care and comfort and understanding for him, wanted to make him feel better, wanted to alleviate his suffering... She was the very person he had always needed the most and she’ll be here for him at the time of distress and confusion.

Yumi tried her best to make her voice sound soothing.

“I’ll tell Brian you’ll skip practice this week. You simply need time, dear… We’ll live though this. Maybe we can make both of your practice schedules not coincide… The less you see him the better. You are so strong, Yuzuru, and you’ll cope with this too! I am sure of it! Also, I think Kikuchi-san needs to be replaced...”

“NO!”

The laser-sharp focus and diamond-hard determination in Yuzuru’s stern gaze made Yumi fall silent. He looked like a tight bowstring which could snap any moment, shooting a deadly arrow to pierce through her sensitive, motherly heart. His voice was ringing with a barely concealed irritation.

“You need to calm down, dear!”

Yuzuru freed himself from her embrace, the stony look of his eyes freezing Yumi to her spot as she didn’t even make an attempt to follow him on his way out of the kitchen.

“I want to train in Toronto with Kikuchi-san as a part of my team and I’ll… _I’ll see Javi if I want to_ … Now I don’t and I won’t but... I am the one in charge of my life and I am the one responsible for the decisions I am taking.”

Yuzuru brought his dry lips to Yumi’s forehead.

“Thank you, okaasan.”

 

*

 

Yuzuru saw Javier’s incoming call flashing on the screen of his mobile in the darkness of his room, as he was lying in his bed, not an ounce of slumber in his eyes.

He didn’t pick up.

Yuzuru kept on repeating under his breath that it was the only right thing to do; too emotionally exhausted to deal with Javier at the moment, too terrified to hear _something_ in the man’s voice that would make his resolve crumble, that would make him regret the decision he had made.

Finally, he typed a curt reply in the form of a single message. He was hesitating to push the ‘send’ button for what seemed like an eternity, his tapered fingertip hovering over the screen.

_Don’t call me_

Yuzuru bit his lower lip hard. He hurled his mobile phone away, it landing on the carpeted floor with a dull thud. An acidic lump formed in his throat, making it hard to breathe as he was suffocating in his own hot tears and vicious, unbridled, uncalled for emotions raging in his aching chest.

_Powerless._

_Swept over._

_Defeated._

Yuzuru realized with scary clarity he wasn’t able to simply cross Javier out of his life once and for all, regardless of the consequences: not after _the night_ they had spent, not after all of the past years of harshly repressed violent longing and perpetual denial he got used to hide himself in.

 After an agonizing night of endless tossing and turning, Yuzuru typed Javier another message, his fingers trembling nervously.

_We need to talk. At your place in half an hour_

 


	5. V.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At times magic works in mysterious ways… and so does love.

*

_Softly and gently_   
_how he smiles,_   
_how his eyes_   
_fondly open_   
_—do you see, friends?_   
_do you not see?_   
_how he shines_   
_ever brighter._   
_Star-haloed_   
_rising higher_   
_Do you not see?_

\- “Liebestod”, R. Wagner

 

Javi squeezed his eyes tightly, hard beats of the club music deafening and bright stroboscopic lights ruthless, their frequency able to cause an epileptic seizure in no time. His mouth was as dry as sandpaper and head was throbbing dully to the rhythm of bodies moving around him like puppets; dancing, making out, rubbing against each other, forgetting about everything except _here_ and _now_.

Bitter aftertaste of tequila on his tongue was mixing with gastric juice and a wave of nausea made Javier’s throat constrict painfully.

Hypnotic dream or an amphetamine trip…?

He wanted to get grip of the surrounding reality, seemingly caught somewhere between space and time. Javi tried to maneuver himself through the dense crowd of dancing people; he needed to get to the fresh air, less he sensed he might faint.

Too much booze to numb his senses; he struggled to find a way out.

Javier checked his mobile phone – still no reply: no incoming messages, no missed calls, _no nothing_.

As he was moving towards the club exit, as swiftly as his wobbly legs would permit, someone caught his wrist to pull him aside. The next moment Javier found himself face to face with a stranger, his back pressed against the wall. A pair of intense dark eyes was staring at him and he had to blink several times, disbelieving.

Has his alcohol-intoxicated brain begun conjuring images of a certain someone out of the blue, his imagination playing its cruel tricks on him?

“Yuzu?”

The absurd assumption left his mouth before Javier knew it, _his_ name sounding alarmingly out of place in here, among strangers, who were eager to wanton away their lives.

In the shifting club lightning and suffocating semidarkness the stranger’s features looked bleary and Javier tried his hardest to catalogue them into his feverish mind: curve of the lips not _that_ perfect, skin _not_ pale _enough_ ; the cut of the stranger’s almond eyes looked _different_ as well.

The vague resemblance was there for Javier to distinguish but it was definitely _not_ Yuzuru standing in front of him. It turned out the young man spoke perfect English: no characteristic lisp or cutely distorted words and phrases.

Javier let out a heavy sigh as he tried to free his hand from the grasp of the surprisingly insistent fingers. The stranger smiled.

“Hey! Want to spend some quality time together? I think you are really cute… Not that I usually act like this with complete strangers, you know…But I really liked the way you danced out there! What is your name? You can simply call me Bo by the way!”

“What a weird name,” Javier thought, as he was taking in the slender frame and the dark bangs of the young man, along with the way Bo’s sweaty hand felt against the skin of his wrist. Remnants of Javier’s rationality were screaming at him in panic: begging not to do stupid things he would regret later. Blood was pulsing hotly in his system, the sting of being ignored by _the real object_ of his desire too deep in his bones, like a constant ache he couldn’t get rid of.

Javier felt dejected and desperate. He had just broken up with Courtney and he was afraid he had no future with Yuzuru; besides, he was drunk and in a state of extreme proneness to the feeling of acute loneliness which was threatening to drown him.

What if some consolation would really do him good?

Javier wasn’t the type to engage into mindless sex and avoided one night stands in the past but now he ached for the warm touch and for the mere reconfirmation that he could still _feel_. He wanted to get rid of the unbearable misery, he longed to be caught in the moment – unthinking and reckless and _wanted_.

He ached for it.

“I don’t mind…”

Bo smiled at Javier reassuringly, before leading him by the hand towards one of the toilet stalls at the back of the club.

 

*

 

Fluorescent lamps blinded Javier momentarily and white tiles on the floors seemed obscene. They locked themselves in one of the free stalls; hushed whispers and strangled moans, along with subdued beats of the electronic music echoing from the dancefloor reaching Javier’s ears.

Bo licked his sharp-cut jaw, his hands groping and exploring boldly. He was experienced and Javier shivered. He closed his eyes tightly: Yuzuru’s and Courtney’s faces interchanging to flood his confused mind.

Javier tugged Bo’s thick hair forcefully to make him throw his head back, as he assaulted his half-opened mouth, a distinct flavour of peach lip-gloss attacking his receptors. He was kissing him with a bruising force, as if he was seeking an elusive taste, as if he needed to sense intoxicating _vanilla_ on the tip of his tongue. Javier wanted to taste Yuzuru to the point of insanity and a cold wave of disappointment swept over him as he unmistakably realized that Bo felt entirely different.

_He was not Yuzuru, by any means._

Getting to his knees, Bo unzipped Javier’s jeans expertly, his nimble fingers sliding in to wrap around his semi-flaccid cock. He started to stroke firmly and Javier winced, as if in pain.

He was threading his fingers through the dark hair of the young man, desperately trying not to think.

“Take it in! Suck me!” He commanded, steel ringing in his tone.

Bo obeyed and Javier threw his head back, eyes rolling from the intensity of pleasure. He hit one of the toilet stall walls, his fist growing numb immediately, an awkwardly loud bang resonating across the room.

Javier began panting, his body reacting to physical stimulation, as he bit his lip hard not to cry out. He sensed tears welling in the corner of his glassy eyes, his body suddenly wrecked by overwhelming emotions – pain, arousal and anxiety mixing with torturous longing to simply cease existing all together, or rather to feel _another lips_ around him; Javier desired to bury himself fully in the welcoming moist heat of the mouth which belonged to someone else entirely.

He started thrusting forward jerkily, as hot tears were rolling down his flushed cheeks: once, twice and then again – in and out, in and out, chasing his own completion…Everything was over embarrassingly fast.

Javier came hard and his orgasm was verging on painful, obliterating his senses; its nature being more of a self-inflicted punishment rather than of anything else for that matter.

He glimpsed down and saw Bo’s dazed eyes looking up at him hopefully. Javier brought the young man back to his feet, kissing him earnestly, his own saltiness making his head spin. He meant the kiss as a wordless apology, as an unspoken plea to forgive his momentarily weakness.

“I am sorry,” Javier whispered, his voice rough, as he was tracing Bo’s cheek with his thumb.

It felt nauseatingly wrong; every damn thing that had just transpired between the two of them.

“I am sorry… I just _can’t_.”

Bo lowered his eyes and Javier couldn’t force himself staying there a moment longer; beneath the unrelenting bright lightning and one on one with his shame and tarnished conscience.

He felt like throwing up.

“I think I am not well…”Javier muttered under his breath before practically fleeing the rest room. He didn’t even stop to wash up or to rinse his mouth, wanting only one thing – to get away.

Night air hit him in the face and the first inhale outside was liberating. The sky in the east was turning crimson slowly.

Javier caught a taxi to take him home. He was curling up at the backseat, extremely tired, as he heard his mobile phone vibrate with an incoming message.

_We need to talk. At your place in half an hour_

He reread it three times. He was starting to believe in miracles.

 

*

 

Upon ascending the stairs, Javier saw Yuzuru sitting hunched up at the doors of his rented Toronto apartment. He was momentarily caught off guard by the surreal quality of the picture in front of his eyes: Yuzuru waiting for him, while looking gut-wrenchingly vulnerable and edgy.

Yuzuru stood up immediately when he noticed him approaching.

“Hi,” Javier breathed out, trying to fish the set of keys out of his pocket, his fingers trembling badly.

The air between them was heavy with tension, unspoken anticipation and nervousness getting the best of both.

Wasn’t it the very thing Javier had been desiring for days – to be able to finally see Yuzuru again, to have an opportunity to finally talk to him, to try to sort everything out and put an end to the completely useless mode of constant ignoring, which was poisoning their daily existence..?

And now as the chance presented itself, Javier felt totally overcome by contradictory emotions: fear of rejection ( _god, he needed him so badly_ ), fear of not being enough _(their rivalry ever present and Yuzuru choosing another gold medal over him seeming quite probable_ ), fear of his own rediscovered self and the need to live with it ( _he had never thought he could fall so deeply for a man – they say: love knows no gender and it did ring true, after all_ ).

Thoughts were running amok inside Javier’s head as they stepped into his silent apartment. Javier was the first to disrupt the uncomfortable dead hush.

“So you wanted to speak, Yuzu? I am all yours.”

Javier smirked at the irony of the last phrase; it couldn’t be more on point, to tell the truth.

Yuzuru was eyeing him suspiciously.

“Were you drinking, Javi? Why?”

Javier winced at the blatant reproach in Yuzuru’s high-pitched voice and his smirk instantly grew wider.

“Do you really care, Yuzu?! I thought you’ve been ignoring me on purpose, pretending I do not exist at all. I thought you didn’t care about me in the slightest…”

Yuzuru pursued his perfect lips.

“Why were you drinking, Jabi?” He repeated stubbornly, each word accentuated, after leaving Javier’s outburst without reply.

_Jabi._

The word made Javier’s breath catch in his throat. He realized how much he actually missed this special tiny _Jabi,_ while at the same time hating the way it made him feel totally helpless every single time.

“You charmed me Yuzuru. You or your damned _shaman_ …I don’t know how, I don’t know why…”

Javier took a couple of steps towards Yuzuru, acutely aware of the little space remaining between them. He studied Yuzuru’s face closely: the dark shadows beneath his eyes and the ashen paleness of his skin. It looked like he had a tough night and the meanest part of Javier rejoiced at the fact.

After all, Yuzuru did suffer like he did.

“For how long are you going to run and hide, Yuzu? I can’t live while pretending nothing happened…And you? Can you really do it?”

Javier’s voice broke and the vivid pain in his eyes made Yuzuru flinch. He wasn’t quite ready for the onslaught of raging emotions which Javier’s question ignited in his chest.

“I think I need you, Yuzu,” Javier gripped his shoulders with a white-knuckle force.

 Yuzuru’s eyes widened and he inhaled sharply, struggling to keep his composure.

Javier wasn’t going to back down; words gashing out of him, as if from an open wound.

“I think it is the only thing I know… I broke up with Courtney…That night which we spent…Dark spells or not – I think deep down in my heart it was always meant to be…It was an eye-opener. Please, say something!”

Javier left his guard down completely, finally finding it in him to speak honestly, opening up not only to Yuzuru but to himself in the first place. Relief washed over him and he didn’t regret that he had leaped, he didn’t regret the fall – he may crash but at least he tried.

It required courage and he had in him.

The several long minutes Yuzuru remained silent, seemed like a whole eternity to Javier. Yuzuru didn’t make an attempt to shove Javier’s hands away and he took it as a hopeful sign.

“Fuck this, Yuzu! Fuck the potion and magic or whatever… Just give us a chance! Just give us a single chance….”

Javier took Yuzuru’s suddenly limp body into his arms, holding it in his embrace tightly. He felt Yuzuru’s fingers digging into his back through the thin fabric of his shirt. Javier was aware of the nasty way he reeked of sweat and alcohol, yet Yuzuru didn’t make a move to free from the circle of his arms.

“I don’t know, Jabi,” he whispered. “I don’t know…Do you really want me?”

Javier was inhaling Yuzuru’s peculiar scent, basking at the proximity of his all too familiar body. He planted a feather-like kiss right below Yuzuru’s ear, noticing the instant shiver that ran through the younger man at the merest contact of his lips.

“I do. I do. I do.”

The kiss they shared felt like the first ever: Javier’s lips moving over Yuzuru’s almost tentatively, as if wordlessly asking for a permission, probing and searching. It couldn’t have been further from the frantic passion they experienced on the night after Kikuchi-san’s fateful mistake.

Javier was drinking Yuzuru in small gulps and the moment Yuzuru’s tongue slipped between his parted lips, an electric shock of arousal set Javier’s nerve endings ablaze.

Their touches felt different. Their kisses felt different. The meaning behind them and the way they were simmering with a newly-obtained intimacy; every breath shared and every moment treasured.

This time Javier undressed Yuzuru unhurriedly, marveling at his naked body, letting the sight flood his senses. He saw purple bruises on the pearly skin and his own hickeys were already beginning to fade – testimonies of Yuzuru’s undoing in his arms. Javier left them there and now as he was showering the sensitive spots with tender kisses it all suddenly felt _right_.

To the point it hurt in the most exquisite of ways.

Javier carried Yuzuru to his bedroom, lowering him on the bed. He was drowning in Yuzuru’s semi-hooded dark eyes and the realization that they were going to do it sober and perfectly in their senses made him shiver.

Javier bent to kiss Yuzuru’s thin ankle, suddenly getting carried away by the disarming sense of the younger man’s fragility. He licked at the sole of Yuzuru’s foot and he whimpered softly.

“Please, Jabi…” Yuzuru sobbed, his voice desperate.

It took all of Javier’s self-control to get through the due prep. Yuzuru was melting beneath him, clenching around his fingers maddeningly and Javier was on the verge of coming simply from the erotic sight alone.

An obscene litany of hushed whispers and semi-conscious pleas; Javier was lavishing Yuzuru with his caresses and the tiny bead of pre-cum on the tip of his tongue tasted sweet.

Javier slid into Yuzuru’s hot tightness with a broken groan. Yuzuru was scratching between Javier’s shoulder blades, leaving angry red marks at the wake of his short nails and it urged Javier to move in deeper and deeper.

The sheer intensity of pleasure bared Javier to the core, shedding layers after layers of skin and flesh, as Yuzuru was slowly seeping through him, now seemingly carved into his very bones.

“Yuzu, Yuzu,” Javier panted against the moist skin of Yuzuru’s neck, his hips stuttering as he was nearing his climax.

“Touch me, Javi! Touch me! Please!”

Yuzuru sounded beside himself, half-choked pleads spilling from his bitten lips making Javier moan wantonly.

He gave Yuzuru’s painfully hard cock several sloppy tugs before he felt the boy coming all over Javier’s waiting fingers. Yuzuru cried out in ecstasy and after several erratic thrusts Javier followed him.

They became one – irreversibly, fated, real.

Javier closed his eyes, totally blissed out, aftershocks of his powerful orgasm still ravaging his body. It took some time to be able to speak again.

“Damn, Yuzu, it seems I am forever indebted to the old man!”

Javier sensed Yuzuru’s breathless giggles against his sweaty skin.

 

Dark magic or not, Javier has never been happier.

 

*

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading :3


End file.
